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Not sure where to put this...
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Author:  eirene [ 30 Jun 2017, 00:30 ]
Post subject:  Not sure where to put this...

Hi everyone,
This is not doctrinal related, but I took my 85 yo widowed mom to a personal care home for a tour today. Funny thing was she had been resisting this for a long time but today she checked it out and was personable and said she even liked it.

I am sitting in her house now with her, I have been staying on and off with her (taking turns with my sisters) and it is almost time for her to go to bed. Suddenly I am feeling so ambivalent about this. She has a big home and it is too much for her and she can't be alone anymore.

It just seems to me that I am the parent and she is the child and I think of all she has done for me over the years. My Dad wanted me to be their caregiver and I am trying to be that but we can't stay here all winter up on top of this huge hill. Boy, I guess I am just feeling quite sad about moving her away from her retirement home.

Her even being willing to do so seems like a real miracle to me. Anyway, some of these life transitions are hard. My Mom is a believer, and I am glad of that. And at 85, I guess she is still doing pretty good.

Anyway, don't know if anyone else has gone through this but prayers are appreciated for my Mom. Her name is Nancy and she has been widowed now for 8 months when my Dad fell from a tree stand when hunting and died four days later. He was a believer too so I can't be too sad but I do miss him.

Thanks for reading,

Author:  brainout [ 30 Jun 2017, 05:50 ]
Post subject:  Re: Not sure where to put this...

Same thing happened to me in 2008. So you're in my prayers. It's hard. One thing to think about: maybe she has more independence in a personal care center, since she doesn't have to feel bad for you doing all the caregiving. Maybe she'll meet other people like her, and have a personal space there she doesn't have now. She'll have a lot of worry off her mind and so will you, so maybe you can visit like you used to do, more like friends?

And putting the thread here is just fine. It's your place as much as mine.

Author:  eirene [ 02 Jul 2017, 22:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: Not sure where to put this...

Thank you for your prayers. They are much appreciated. Today we were going to go to church but she was having stomach upset so have been inside all day avoiding the heat and humidity.
I prayed and asked God to give us clear direction and a studio efficiency has opened up at this center that I took her for a tour on Thurs. A couple months ago she was adamant about staying at her house but now she realizes she can't stay here and is being quite cooperative. I am thankful God is answering prayer.
This coming week, my one sister is coming in fro out of town to check out the home and take Mom for an assessment. She is POA and if she likes it she will put some money down on the room.
God has been good, sustaining me even if this is a bit isolated out here. A good chance to apply all this wisdom I have heard over the years.
Thanks for your answer and for caring.

Author:  brainout [ 03 Jul 2017, 14:03 ]
Post subject:  Re: Not sure where to put this...

I don't know if this helps, but I live in a place like that. I moved in 9 years ago, thinking that since I'm alone, someday I'll not be able to fend so well for myself. God picked it, I knew that. No time to explain why, so ask Him for verification. So, it makes sense to argue that whatever the outcome, He will cause it for your mother and your family, and you will know.

Oh: and I'm happier here than I've ever been. Everything I need is nearby, and I can hire anyone to help me if need be. It's not expensive to hire someone to run an errand if I can't.

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